Upnarth - Monday, a 9-5 tribute to Dolly

Hugo leaves us before we leave Snads. Five hours later he reaches home.

Steve, Ray and I depart (9am). We are in a tight schedule as Ray needs to catch the ferry to be back in time for a family reunion.

We stop to admire the statue of Alice Nutter, the last witch to be hanged in Britain. 

Apparently one of her last descendants lived in Barnoldswick. She used to wash her windows at night while stark naked. Her dog roamed the streets shitting everywhere. When the local council said the dog needed to be on a leash, she obediently attached one. Without a human in the loop the dog no doubt continued to shit indiscriminately! 🤣

No more stops except to empty our tanks. Steve sets a blistering pace on the damp roads, but it's hard not to ignore the magnificent Yorkshire Dales. The roads are awesome and there's not much traffic despite being a bank holiday long weekend.

We arrive at Devils Bridge by 11am, where we say goodbye to Ray. It's a popular bikers stop and there are many other bikes parked up. We have a coffee while there.

I resist the urge to jump.

Then we wend our way though the Dales, but this time stopping more often to take pictures.

We stop for a spot of lunch at the Wensleydale Creamery, where I order a 'South Canadiano coffee' to go with my cheese roll, but my humour is lost on the young server, no fault of theirs. 

Steve has a cheese scone

After that we go cheese tasting, sampling the various cheeses for sale. I manage to leave with an arm full of goodies.

Then more great views.

We reach a series of gates, where we have to stop, open, ride through, and close the gate, each time. Just after the last one I set the bike on its stand so I can close the gate, but I left it in neutral. It doesn't rolls forward, off the stand, and topples over... 🤦🏽 Rookie mistake. 

The gear lever is broken. 

Luckily nothing else is damaged. I ride the next 10km or so, trying change gear, but the sharp edge is damaging my boot and it's especially difficult to change up a gear. We stop and I do a makeshift repair with a scrap of duct tape and a short piece of twig. Surprisingly it makes enough of a difference to allow me to change gear more easily. 👏🏽

Steve asks if we should cut the day short, but I'm good to go. My F800 engine is flexible enough to just about pull away in 3rd gear, which can also reach motorway speeds. But on the longer straights I snick it into 4th. We carry on for about an hour continuing to make good progress.

As soon as we get back (5pm) I set to work fashioning a replacement gear lever, rummaging around in Steve's garage for bits. 

Initially I thought of attaching a small 90 degree angle bracket, but in the end decide that it's simpler just to drill a single hole a fix a bolt in place, then wrap it in duct tape. It's a method I've used before and it works well. Steve has the tools and bolts, so job done. I'm sure that will last for months.

262km today. Almost spoilt by gravity. But we resisted.

Upnarth - Sunday

Steve is leading us south today, into Derbyshire, going into Rochdale, but we're the only cowboys we see.

Except for the cold and rain, we could be back in Medellin, Colombia.

but at least the toilets have a little character 

Stopping by a reservoir 

A dry lunch just before the rain comes

We almost escape the worst of the rain until the end of the day, when it really pours. Soaked through, the cold rain seeps into my gloves, into my boots, through my trousers, and into my underwear - although oddly, it's the latter that occurs first.

Fortunately it's the end of the day, so it's not so long until we can strip off and drape our things across Steve's radiators.

207km, another cracking today.

Upnarth - Saturday

We're joined by local, Jeremy, who will be leading today's ride.

Not so many pictures as we're enjoying the riding and trying to avoid the rain.

Today's route 265km

Stroud to Upnarth

Leaving Stroud, I fill up before joining the M5 northbound. Rain threatens. It's a 300km slog, and I'm planning to ride the trough between two waves of rain also heading north. I leave at 1pm and have timed my journey to not reach certain places until the rain has left, so I mustn't ride too fast or I'll catch it. I'm helped by the traffic and traffic jams, which slows the pace, but I'm careful not to stop, or my bike will overheat like yesterday. 

So I make steady progress, and filter between lanes when they stop. As long as I keep moving the bike should be fine; and it is, not missing a beat for the entire journey. Eventually I'm not bothered by the rain and just push on regardless, putting on my rain jacket to keep the rain out. The rain on the engine will help cool it anyway. 

I arrive in Barnoldswick at 18h30, only slightly earlier than planned. And I have a gift for Snads which she really appreciates. 🖕🏽

Steve has prepared a bean and mince chilli dish, jacket potatoes, and chicken - yummy.

Aldershot to Stroud

Setting off from Aldershot, up the M3, then the A332 to Bracknell, then M4 towards London, before reaching the M40 via the A404. On to Oxford to meet yet another pal for lunch. Barton, where we attempt to get fish and chips, but the chippy is closed. 

So, a bus ride to Headington, where we eat fish and chips in the park. Disappointing fish (no salt or vinegar and bland), but good chips.

Walking back this time, we stop off at a neighbour, Kirk, and I admire his old original Mini Cooper (1000cc) in very good condition, we chat about SU carbs and unit Mini engines (with shared oil across the engine and gearbox). He's a volunteer marshall at Silverstone and travels there many weekends to help manage the track events.

Leaving Oxford it's a run along the A40 towards Gloucester before turning south to Stroud. There's traffic in Gloucester and crawling along where you can't go around the outside my bike overheats. I can hear the fan go on and feel the heat on my leg, but it's not enough to cool the engine, which starts cutting out. It's doing it a lot so making progress difficult. I stop for 15 minutes to let it cool down, but still, getting up the hill to Stroud is hard work. Eventually I make it there and hose the bike with cold water in an effort to get some heat out of the engine quickly. 

A short while later I ride to another relative who I haven't seen for years and who has been unwell. He looks on the mend, which is a good sign. In fact, this relative was a huge contributor to the BikerDom blog in that he helped edit my early writing pieces, which led to the blog style you're reading now. He was big in publishing and is an NLP master, which he still teaches. 

Fish and chips for dinner, which I collect from a local chippy that cooks haddock, The Nippy Chippy. Much better than the lunch version. 

The following day, after yet another fish and chip lunch, I take a photo with my hosts, and then talk bikes - Triumph Tiger 1050 in this case. I depart shortly after.

London - Going around in Circles (North and South)

Sunday was relaxed, rode across turn to have lunch with pals 

And then on to Greenford to visitp my aunt, further around the North Circular Road. We had time for a longer chat than usual as their was no rush to catch a ferry. Helped her to understand her smartphone, figure out WhatsApp, and introduced her to her new friend, Google: Hey Google.... ? 

Back to NotNat's the other way on the North Circular.

Monday, another relaxed day, breakfast at the Ace Cafe on the North Circular Road, first time for the fluoro orange to grace their carpark (should have taken a picture🤦🏽). 

A quick tea stop and another pal's

Then back to my aunt's to set up her Freeview Play TV box so programmes can be paused for loo breaks. Dinner with another pal at a most delicious Kurdish restaurant in Greenford. 

Then back on the North Circular again!

Tuesday, my stalking skills were put to good use in solving a personal mystery; I manned to finally track down a long lost, favourite chemistry teacher. Sadly he died a few years ago, but I met his wife who told me they had a good life together. I said he had had a positive impact on my life and she seemed to appreciate that.

This time it's the South Circular Road to Clapham, for lunch with a pal. 

Then onto Aldershot to stay with my cousin and hubby. Nice dinner in town. Sad to see it's not what it was, as many of the army units have left, including the famous Parachute Regiment that had been based there.

Brussels to Upnarth, via Mos Eisley - Easy as A,B,C. D and E.

Today I'm traveling to Mos Eisley. As a wise one once said, "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy." 

Actually I'm going to London, but same difference, right? According to MAGA morons at least.

7am and I'm on the road, ready for my 11:10 ferry from Calais and the lengthy border checks by the Imperial Storm Troopers of UK Border Force. Actually they're usually pretty nice, it's just the the rules are strict and if you get caught behind a vehicle with questionable paperwork - "ver are your papers?" - it's really frustrating to see the queues next to you moving, while yours is stationary. Just like Sainsbury's, right...

Well today, all that's all ahead of me; before that, it's a mini-adventure just getting to Calais.

Good start, traffic is light, making good progress without needing a 'get out of jail free' card. No escaping those pesky average speed cameras "trajectcontroles" as they are called in Flanders, which has 1200 such systems. 

The first sign of trouble is a feeling of slight looseness in the rear end, which develops into a definite wobble. Normally a wobbly rear end is a desirable feature, but not on a motorcycle at 120... I manage to reach one of the refuge bays, set back from the hard shoulder itself. My rear tyre is completely flat. 

I know the problem, my wife knew the problem, she even warned me of the problem before leaving. But, you see, I had a plan! The problem was a previous repair. A screw from several years ago caused a puncture, which I repaired, and that had survived at least two track days since, and held firm. But a few days ago I noticed a slight leak, which I plugged again. But now the tyre was thinner than before and had less rubber to grip, even if the tyre still had plenty of tread left. Replugging an old repair, I now know to be a poor life choice...  Hey! Don't judge me, that's what life is about: learning!  I know, I'm only making excuses, I admit to that.

But I have time in hand, so, Plan B is mobilised. I have my rope plugs, I have my pump, so I plug it again. Job done. 

... for 10km or so. Then mademoiselle wobble comes back. Luckily I'm near the Drongen services, so pull in there. More plugs, more air, which I pay for as my rechargeable pump is low. A young, fresh A2 licenced, biker asks if I need help and we chat as I make further plug attempts. By this time I'm mentally falling back to Plan C, miss the ferry, catch a later one, and find a place to change the tyre. With help of A2 guy and Google, we locate a Yamaha dealer about 8km away. My tyre holds enough for the short motorway stint before getting on the back roads. I make it to Yamaha. But it's closed. Fortunately only until 10am!

Yamaha guy shrugs his shoulder (apologetically, as we're in Flanders); they're way behind with repairs and have customers coming to collect bikes today, so no chance of a tyre change. He says maybe the Suzuki dealer on the Ghent ring could do it, and suggests a puncture repair foam to help get me there. Hmm... that could work; small gap should be filled nicely by the air dried foam. I gladly buy two cans.  He fills my tyre and pumps it to pressure. I need to rotate the tyre asap, so off I go, seeking Suzuki.

When I stop, the fountain of foam coming out of my tyre tells me this ain't gonna work. Now I'm considering Plan D, abandon the day, get recovered home and take my other bike. But I jump back on and finally make it to Suzuki via the convoluted Ghent ring road. 

But they are even more useless. No mechanics, no real sign of any proper motorcycles either, only what a Gilera-connected friend once referred to as just "crappy scooters". But the lady there did recommend a BMW dealer, which Google told me was not far away. I gave them a call and the guy sounded very helpful and could fit a tyre. Result. But how to get there. I'd run out of plugs, the foam was useless. I know, I'll ride very slowly on the flat tyre... 🤦🏽

Didn't end well. But at least it ended very quickly, after no more than 40m.  But that was about 20m onto the dual carriageway and I was stuck. It was almost impossible to push backwards and going forward was not an option. By this stage, I begin to question my life choices again and Plan E goes briefly through my brain: give up motorcycles - I did say briefly, think nanoseconds. I struggled a few cms at a time, but eventually a cyclist stopped to help me push it backwards to relative calm.

I phoned the BMW guy and he said he could collect me during the lunch break. Sounds good to me. Only two hours away, but it's a definite and solid plan. There's a petrol station nearby so I have an early lunch of a cheese and tomato panini served by a very unsmiling attendant. I sit outside, fortunately sheltered from the sun, and then the heavy rain that graces this parched land.

12:15 comes as does Plan D again: what if he can't come, what if, what if, what if. But there's a toot and I see the yellow Leie Motors truck on the other side of the road - I'm saved! I feel like the desperate C-3PO waving to the Jawa vehicle in the distance on Tatooine.

We load the bike up the ramp onto the trailer, which in itself is a challenge as the rim is now spinning in the tyre after my 40m jaunt, but somehow we manage. It's a short ride to Leie Motors (no, not 'Leia' Motors), passing Drongen services (again!). 

My rescuing BMW guy is Han, just kidding, "Jous" (you-se), and we chat about satellites, frequencies, illegal cordless phones in the 90s, and cell phone jamming, as you do.  On arrival we reverse into the garage area. 

Jous decides to repair the bike on the trailer as it's tied down and stable. My bike has no centre stand making it more difficult to get the wheel clear of the deck, but it's doable with a collection of jacks and wood blocks.

The tyre change is easy, takes five minutes, and the wheel is back on the bike. I 'admire' the collection of rope repair plugs bursting through the inside of the old tyre... 🤦🏽 

My old tyre had a good life, commuting, track days, and tours. I generally get around 20,000km out of Michelin tyres and this PR5 was close to that and still had tread left. The new tyre is an updated PR6, but the GT version meant for heavier bikes. But good enough. 

While there, I have the front tyre changed too, a matching PR6 GT. I was planning to have them changed in London anyway. 

Jous points out that my rear brake fluid needs changing, as well as my wet front brake pads which he says won't stop effectively. But I had also seen this and had thoroughly tested them to make sure they DID work properly - I would not ride it if I had any doubts. I also asked him to tighten the damper rod nut underneath the fork as you can only reach that with the wheel off and there was a tiny leak from one side. 

You'd think with all the work, little extras, roadside rescue, and my undying gratitude, that the bill would be high, but no, a very reasonable 565 euro.

I've been thoroughly impressed by Jous, although Leie Motors is not an official BMW dealer, he's the local goto guy for old BMW repairs, he even has a collection of R1100S bikes of his own - my kind of guy. I'm really impressed by the service and even though it's some distance from where I live, I would consider going back for other jobs. He can repair car tyres too! If you ever need a helpful mechanic close to the E40 around Ghent, he's your man.

Back on the road! No puncture worries, bliss, but my bike still feels a little loose in the rear. I stop in another refuge, but everything is fine. I think I have rear end wobble trauma. (Sunday update: the pressures are too high, fine now).

I make it to Calais by 15:15 and Irish Ferries are brilliant and don't charge anything extra. I'll just have to wait for the next available sailing, which is at 18:20. No problem.

But border checks take an absolute age and this time I get stuck in two dead queues. I get to the boarding area and there are a few cars there. It's a long wait so I go to the snack area for some coffee, crisps and an overdue waste disposal.  When I get back to my bike about 20 minutes later there are fewer cars and I can see an Irish Ferries ship just pulling out - I have a strong suspicion that I missed an opportunity to get on the earlier ferry. 😮‍💨 But the sky is blue, the air is fresh, and I have not a care in the world, so I put my jacket down, ear plugs in, hat over my eyes, and lie back and relax. 

Eventually my ferry arrives, slightly late, and we board. Smooth journey, and off at Dover. Short ride to London, petrol stop on the way, and I'm at my destination. Burger waiting for me at NotNat's cantina 🫠.  Tomorrow I meet up with my buddies Han, Chewy and Leia - you know who you are.

Upnarth - Friday

A day of random riding with Steve before the other cowboys join us. Rain stayed mostly away and North Yorkshire is as beautiful as ever. 

A visit to a random penis 

sitting above a quarry.

not so far from home

I wonder who's listening

After getting back to Steve's, I take a run up his local hill. 

Back at base, and Ray and Hugo have joined us.

Today's route. About 200km